Forgotten Feelings
by Leeloo-chan
Summary: Amu is a writer struggling to balance finding inspiration with her best friends wedding and failing relationship. But could it be that Utau's brother may just be the solution and so much more to everything she has ever needed?
1. Meeting the family

**Title: Forgotten Feelings.****  
****Chapter one.**

**Disclaimer.**  
Amu and characters of Shugo Chara are © to Peach Pit.

Bold = Speech.  
Italics = Thought.  
Authors note at the bottom of the page.

**Amu's Pov.**

Glancing up from my current word document, I narrowed my eyes at the blinking IM box. I knew that it was Utau trying to contact me for at least the twelfth time today. With a sigh and a few impatient grumbles I swept the escaped pink strands from my face and double clicked. Sure enough Utau was pissed, as was to be expected! She was getting married to my best friend in a week and I had been neglecting every meeting and high pitched squeal moment due to personal reasons.

There where at least five threatening statements awaiting me when my eyes returned to the screen and I figured that now would have to be the right time to reply. Strangely enough I hadn't known Utau that long, only a matter of months really, and yet she felt like an extension of me. Of course Kukai hadn't known her that long either, but they claim it was love at first sight and after seeing them together I honestly believed them.

Sometimes, just sometimes I wish that Tadase would look at me like that. He would be the personal reason I mentioned earlier, I felt so guilty but at the moment being around normal couples only opened my eyes further to how abnormal my relationship with Tadase was, and that hurt. But I would not allow myself to retreat further into my misery, Utau and Kukai where my best friends and they deserved happiness. I made an oath there and then that no matter how I felt I would not ruin one more wedding plan.

With my new found strength and determination I glanced back to my flashing IM box with a still ranting Utau.

**Utau: Are you seriously still going to ignore me?****  
****Utau: …. I will have your head for this you know!****  
****Utau: What kind of maid of honour would do this to the bride?****  
****Utau: Okay I didn't want to do this but…****  
****Utau: Kukai told me your secret hobby, Stop writing ****your smutty romance stories and start being a friend!**

That caught my attention; I stared at the screen blankly pushing my thick rimmed glasses further up my nose, so she knew. Kukai never could keep a secret; I knew that he read it! Sappy devious pervert, when I get my hands on him oh boy was he in trouble! There were of course more pressing matters at hand and so I began the long task of appeasing Utau.

The conversation was long and dull and somehow ended in me agreeing to go to lunch with her and a few of the other important people involved in the wedding, she always managed to twist me around her little finger. Finally content Utau said goodnight and I logged off my messenger, I was having a hard enough time writing as it was, I took comfort however in the fact that it wasn't entirely my fault; I hadn't had inspiration in such a long time, how is a girl supposed to write about love if she isn't sure how it's supposed to feel.

Frustrated and more than a little tired I slammed my laptop closed and stumbled my way to bed, as I launched myself into the thick covers I foolishly checked my phone and yet again was met by disappointment, he didn't even say goodnight anymore. Slamming my mobile on the side table I looked out of my balcony windows to see a sparkling sky, and then sleep took me.

A persistent buzzing floated its way through my subconscious and no matter how I twisted or turned it would not stop, slowly I awoke and came to realise that the buzzing was my phone, shame I was so sure I had put it on silent too. I was about to slam my phone shut until I noticed the caller ID. Tadase Kun I breathed silently to myself, he's finally calling me. Excitedly I flipped the phone open but the returning response was less than favourable.

**"Amu Chan your friend just r****ang me; we are apparently late for a luncheon… It would help if I knew about these things in future, it's not proper for me to be late." **He sounded more than a little irritated with me, but that didn't really come as much of a surprise. He was always angry lately.

I sighed to myself, today was the first time in a month that we had spoken to each other and he was more concerned about his appearance and what was proper than how I was, typical. I of course didn't tell him what I was truly feeling and instead told myself that work was stressful for him and that when everything settled down we would be just fine.

**"I'm so sorry Tadase-Kun will you still be able to come with us if I leave now?" **I apologised profusely in an attempt to salvage the first conversation we had had in months.

**"Tsch Amu Chan, it would seem that I have no choice, I will meet you at the café try not to be too late."** He hung up abruptly and I threw my mobile against the covers violently in response.

Bye I muttered half-heartedly into the empty room. Clearing my head I reminded myself again that Tadase was under a lot of stress and that being in love means standing together through bad times and good. My inner pep talk was so good that I almost believed it and yet as I ran around frantically getting ready I could not help but feel the tightness taking a hold of my heart.

All of my rushing brought me to the mirror; I gazed at my reflection sceptically. I barely even looked like myself. Typical I finally get to see Tadase and I looked horrific, not all of me just parts. The mirrors reflection showed a curvy five foot five girl in her twenties with waist long bubble gum pink hair. But on closer inspection it was all too easy to see the dark circles that framed her eyes, the broken chapped lips from nights of nervously biting down after yet another night slipped by without a single word from him! Even her golden eyes seemed a shade duller today.

Exasperated I pulled out my makeup kit, I knew there was little I could do in the short amount of time but I could at least make an attempt, I applied my concealer in order to subdue the shadows under my eyes and then finished them with my trademark flicked line of eyeliner and mascara, however to be safe I still opted to wear my glasses. Tugging at my seemingly lifeless hair I growled growing impatient and quickly running out of time I swept it into a side pony leaving my sides and bangs down to frame my face and lastly coated my lips with a sweep of pink gloss. I gave myself one last twirl in the mirror before racing out of my apartment and to my car.

As I approached the café windows I could see Utau tapping her perfectly manicured nails impatiently against the table and across from her sat my Tadase Kun, it's strange but from the moment I saw his face I forgot all my previous worries and resentments and finally felt like things were okay. I walked into the café in a daze barely paying any attention to who surrounded me. I was snapped out of said daze by the tight impatient embrace of Utau.

"**That boyfriend of ****yours has a stick up his ass as usual."** Utau muttered to me.

She whispered mean comments to me playfully and ruffled my hair, I stepped back from her and gave her a genuine smile it was only now that I had realised how much I really had missed her. I sniggered at her comment silently and poked her in the ribs before she took my hand and dragged me to my seat. Now that I had him here to myself I was not willing to waste a moment, the minute Utau became distracted by Kukai I turned my attention to Tadase but no matter what I tried he barely took an interest, I eventually gave up feeling neglected I turned to Utau, she placed her hand in mine as if sensing my pain.

"**We are just waiting for my brother Tadase unless you have something else you must urgently rus****h off too?" **She glared at Tadase with all her might, feigning civility.  
Her eyes were steely as she watched for his reply but as always Tadase was nothing but polite.

**"I do have a meeting that I will have to excuse myself for soon Utau san but I can stay ****a little longer."** He smiled gently at her but it didn't touch his eyes, he remained cold and disinterested.

Utau's only response was to glare back instead and then moan to me about how her brother was always late. I smiled fondly as she began pouting like a small child whining about nothing in particular, I knew she was trying to cheer me up in her own way. However the next thing I knew my hand was dropped, Kukai had his head in his hands and there was a god awful squeal over by the café entrance.

Turning around I saw who I could only assume was Utau's brother. Although he was visually obscured by the enthusiastically bouncing blonde I could still catch glimpses and though I felt guilty even thinking it, he was beautiful; completely and utterly beautiful. I felt the blush heat my cheeks as Utau rocketed my way and practically threw me out of my chair dragging me to meet him. Seeing him un-obscured only made it worse I stood now in front of him shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

Utau began babbling about how we met, but I didn't catch the last of her speech I was too preoccupied sizing up this stranger. He must have been a little over six feet but well-built all broad shoulders and strong arms, his face was beautiful, angular and framed by his mid length navy blue hair. So perfect was the rest of this mysterious man that I almost missed the best parts of him, he bent down low and took my hand in his

"**I'm pleased to meet you Amu." **He stated confidently in a deep husky voice, and when I shyly glanced up I was met by sapphire blue. Another blush grazed my face and his eyes flickered curiously before allowing me enough time to control myself again. Repressing any previous thoughts I looked into his face avoiding eye contact and smiled widely expressing how nice it was to meet him in return, I removed my hand slowly and made my way to sit by Tadase's side. This is where I should have been all along, I told myself resentfully.

Shortly Utau and her brother returned to the table, he took the seat directly across from me and I felt his leg brush against mine quickly, I decided to do the polite thing and ignore it but when my eyes met his face all I could see was his smirk.

"**It would seem that dam smirk is a family trait"** I muttered darkly. But before I could realise what I had said aloud Tadase was already correcting me.

"**Amu Chan it is so rude to mutter, and at a luncheon with friends no less. I thought you knew better. I have to go to work now but please do your best to not embarrass us further with your**** peculiar mannerisms. I would like to have friends to return too." **He shook his head at me disappointed and with each word I sank more and more into my chair hideously ashamed of myself for embarrassing him yet again, but just as I was about to apologise I heard a voice, his voice.

"**Now, now we are all friends here and what our dear Amu said is hardly far from the truth the smirk does run in our family."** Utau's brother smirked smugly looking Tadase up and down; and as he said his last line he winked at me, which only seemed to anger Tadase more.  
**"Still a lady should know how to behave, and I'm awfully sorry but it would seem that myself and my partner didn't catch your name?"** Tadase responded haughtily.  
Another smirk crossed his face as Utau and Kukai looked from one to another not sure what to make of the situation.  
**"My name is Ikuto Tsukiyomi and I am Utau's older sibling. But you can call me Mr Tsukiyomi."**

A smug smile pulled at Ikuto's lips and I had to stifle a giggle at the face that Utau was currently making. Tadase still seemed to be deep in thought but shaking his head he silently kissed me lightly on the head and after excusing himself from the table left.

Utau was the first to speak as the café door shut, she teased Ikuto playfully for making the atmosphere so tense and then nudged me stating that Tadase was far too uptight and boring for me. That seemed to break the tension considerably and we all began to laugh. Utau went back to telling me how much she missed me and Kukai occupied himself with his phone, but throughout my entire conversation I could not help but feel like Ikuto was watching me.

Our luncheon had run longer than I had expected and I really did have to get some writing done but before I could excuse myself Utau made me promise that I would come round to her apartment the next night for drinks and catch ups. It was nearly impossible to say no to her pouting face and so I agreed. But that night as I sat with my head tilted to the side wishing that inspiration would strike, all I could see where a pair of sapphire eyes.

**Leeloo-Chan:** To my usual readers I know I haven't updated in a while, I went on holiday and forgot to mention it. I did mean to update my new story Child of the full moon but I was hit with really bad writers block so decided to post something less serious up. This is my other on-going story I mentioned, so whether you are a usual or someone new I really hope you enjoyed this first instalment and would love it if you would review me and let me know if you want more :)


	2. Strawberry Cocktails

**Title: Forgotten Feelings.****  
****Chapter one.****  
**

**Disclaimer.**  
Amu and characters of Shugo Chara are © to Peach Pit.

******Bold** = Speech.  
_Italics_ = Thought.  
Authors note at the bottom of the page.

**Amu's Pov.****  
**

I watched the timer on my laptop clock tick closer and closer, writing had become more impossible than usual even. And although it was surely his eyes that were haunting me I refused to believe that meeting Utau's brother once would be enough to be behaving the way I was now. Surrendering any hopes of writing I shut my laptop and made my way to the bedroom to get ready.

Anxiously I pulled out my black ruffled mini skirt with the long ribbon tie at the back and coupled that with my tight red v neck sweater, to complete my outfit I picked out my knee length red socks and black ankle boots and then dragged out my fitted red coat with black collar and cuffs. When I looked in the mirror for the first time in a month I actually didn't hate who stared back. After applying my makeup in my trademark way and leaving my hair down in loose curls, I picked up my black shoulder bag and went outside to my rust bucket of a car.

Upon arriving at Utau's apartment I was overcome with excitement it had been so long since I had just had drinks with friends and I knew that tonight was going to give me a well needed break. After pressing the bell to Utau's flat it did not take long for the door to be wrenched open as I was pulled inside by two clingy friends.

I recognised one of the blonde heads to be Utau's which could only mean that the blonde next to her was Rima. I laughed and embraced them back with all my strength until our reunion was broken by one of my favourite men in the world. The girls broke away from me so I could jump into one of my best friend's awaiting arms, Nagi. I was so immersed in seeing him for the first time in such a long time that I didn't realise I had an audience.

I could feel his eyes on me before I even saw him, it gave my spine that familiar tingle and I was honestly beginning to hate him for it. _First he impedes my writing and now he ruins my reunion_ Ithought to myself bitterly, _of course he would be here_. I had stiffened noticeably in Nagi's arms and slowly slinked away from him, a blush gracing my features. My friends laughed at my shyness and engulfed me once again before the girls dragged me to the kitchen for drinks.

I stood concealed at the partition between kitchen and living room while Rima and Utau waffled on and on about wedding plans. Shyly I peeked around the wall taking in glimpses of Ikuto, there was something different about him that I didn't quite understand but every time I saw him he seemed to be acting normal. I would have loved to stay hidden in my spot for the remainder of the night but sadly the girls had other plans, with a strawberry cocktail in one hand and Rima's hand in my other I was dragged back into the living room.

Nagi was the first to rescue me from Rima's incessant questioning and we began dancing just like we did in school. Nagi and Kukai were my first best friends but Nagi always had a special talent that made him understand when there was something on my mind and he would somehow always manage to make me forget everything around me. We danced and danced and when the song finished both Rima and Kukai were in fits on the sofa about how nothing ever changes.

Of course after my dance Rima had made me down my strawberry cocktail for dancing with her Nagi, I laughed uncontrollably at how possessive the petit blonde was but followed her orders all the same and made my way light headed to the kitchen for a top up. Reaching the partition I heard voices and caught a conversation between Utau and her brother, I was listening so intently that I didn't hear the very drunken Rima stagger her way towards me. I managed to stifle her inebriated giggles and convince her to help me spy on them.

"**So what do you think of my friends here? Aren't they something?"** Began Utau as she curiously gazed at her older brother

**"Mhm, yeah sure as long as you're happy!"** Came Ikuto's none committed reply.

Utau had obviously picked up on the odd tone in her brothers voice and decided to question him on it.

**"What's on your mi****nd, you have been acting so strange since yesterday." **Her eyes where pleading, not that it did her any good, Ikuto audibly sighed rolling his eyes,

**"It's nothing Utau I'm just out of sorts. You worry too much!"** He laughs ruffling her hair slightly

**"You'r****e lying again…"** Utau pouts childishly but Ikuto had managed to cut her off mid-sentence through one of her beginning rants

**"So tell me about your friends…" **He interrupts somehow sounding slightly interested, only raising Utau's suspicion more.

**"Well yo****u met Amu yesterday she's the one with the pink hair? She's my best friend and maid of honour if she pulls her head out of the clouds!" **Utau laughs sweetly reassuring me that she is only playing but my guilt still lingers  
**  
****"Mhm, I remember her. Is she with**** the purple haired guy?" **He shrugs his shoulders and he seemed casual to me but Utau smirked slyly

**"God no, they are best friends. Rima the small girl and Nagi the purple haired guy are married. Nagi was Amu's first real friend so they have a really stron****g bond that sometimes gets a little annoying."** She laughs playfully once again waiting for her brother's next question

**"Ah I see."** He smiled at his sister pleasantly

**"Ikuto why are you smiling like that it's freaking me out…" **She faked a shudder smirking at him.

**"I'm not smiling for any particular reason Utau you're just very drunk." **He grins confidently at her

**"I wouldn't feel so smug if I were you, I'm nowhere near as drunk as you need me to be and I see everything, including your special attentions t****o a certain someone." **She smirked before leaving him in the kitchen astounded and practically walked straight into me.

"**Amu do me a favour and make the next round of drinks? My brothers in there he will help out, it's about time you got to know each other ****anyway he's going to be helping out with a lot of the wedding plans." **She smiled gently at me before pushing my arguing self through the threshold of the kitchen.

I stood alone in Utau's minimalistic kitchen staring at the figure in front of me shyly, Utau did have a point and at the moment if it involved the word wedding I probably owed her more than I ever could repay. I peeked at him through long lashes and noticed that without a word he had already began making drinks.

"**Wait I'll help you don't have to**** do that." **I fumbled with one of the glasses clumsily attempting to be of help and instead making things worse, as usual. The glass slipped from my hands smashing against the cold tiles, muttering I dropped to my knees picking up the remnants of the glass and cursing myself.

A pair of warm hands enveloped mine and I stifled the shocking shriek that had built up in my throat, he removed the glass from my hand as I gazed intently at him. His Azure tresses had fallen over his face forming a curtain between us and making it nearly impossible to work out what he was thinking.

Suddenly his arms wound their way around my waist and before I could complain or struggle I was lifted into his arms for a split second before being gently perched on the counter top.

"**You****'re not wearing shoes, stay there I'll clean this."** He grimaced at the mess beneath me and nudged me.

"**You can't make a drink without making a mess eh?" **He smiled proving his playful intent but somehow the combination of Tadase, strawberry liquor and my general frustration had manifested and reacted to his playful comment seriously

Before I could control it or even run from the room it was on me, a wave of sadness impossible to pin back or escape. The hot saline prickled at the corners of my eyes quietly at first and then streamed freely, I dropped my head in my hands shamefully. It would seem that perhaps I couldn't hold my drink as well as I originally assumed _I can't do anything right…_

I'm not sure why but I thought Ikuto would ignore me, walk away and find Utau inform her that her best friend is neurotic but he didn't. I felt a tug at my hands and looked up eye to beautiful eye into cerulean depths.

"**It's just a glass."** He mumbled affectionately wiping the track marks of my tears away.

"**You must think I'm**** insane…"** I managed to sob out pathetically somehow increasing my tears.

"**Odd maybe but not insane, alcohol brings everything we feel to the surface. You should never be ashamed of having feelings Amu." **He smiled down at me softly in response to my no doubt confused face; his tone held all of the knowledge of a clearly experienced man and it bothered me that in his eyes I probably looked no more than a small child.

"**I'm not always like this I'm a writer, an older sister… I'm just not exactly at my best at t****he moment." **My point was meant to be that I am a responsible adult. But instead it sounded as if I was desperately clutching at straws, a little girl in her mother's shoes and makeup trying to be more mature than she actually is.

"**You don't have to be any ****of those things right now. Let your hair down, cry if you need to and then move on. Rely on your friends more, I barely know you and yet even I can tell you bottle your feelings too much."** He pinched my nose playfully eliciting a well needed giggle from me and I soaked his words in as if it were the first thing in such a long time that made sense.

"**Be more spontaneous, do whatever the hell you feel like and dam the consequences while you still can. You have friends and… me, we will make sure you don't fall ****too hard." **I laughed hard blushing fiercely but my thank you was interrupted by the appearance of a rather smug looking Utau.

"**Your hardly one to advise her on doing whatever she wants Ikuto… or was that speech meant for yourself too? And you miss Amu why ****am I here if you won't come to me when you're hurting… Nagi is cross at you I think you will owe him at least five dances for this so you better go get started." **She shooed me from the room to have what I would assume to be a private talk with Ikuto and to be honest I was just glad that I had been excused from the awkwardness burning between the siblings.

Upon entering the living room Nagi pulled me into his arms; it must have been obvious I had been crying because the concern in his wide eyes was almost overwhelming. But before he could bombard me with question after question Rima took my hand and led me to the bathroom, I sat patiently as the blonde dabbed concealer under my eyes reducing the red puffiness more than I could have ever hoped.

"**Now then how a****bout we start over, enjoy the rest of the night and if you at any point want to talk about anything there is always more of where this came from and it works magic for crying eyes."** She waved the concealer bottle in front of me and smiled patiently, I hugged her tightly before we joined the rest of the party somehow everyone had managed to lift a weight I had been suffocated under for such a long time.

**Amu's Pov continued.****  
**

After an hour of being twirled around like a fool and drinking perhaps one to many cocktails I sat head in hands on the sofa fighting the spiralling feeling invading my head. Nagi had gone to carry a now passed out inebriated Rima to Utau's spare room and Utau and Kukai were being their usual selves, overly affectionate in a corner somewhere.

"**How are you feeling now?"** Ikuto's compassionate tone dredged me from my spiralling drunkenness and I smiled.

"**Far too drunk."** I replied laughing lightly.

"**I think it might be time to catch a cab, I'm seeing all these black dots which can't be a**** good thing." **I heard the slur on my words and blushed embarrassed; _I dread to think what he really thinks of me._

"**Oh no you don't, I'll drive you home." **He moved to sit by my side and I shivered as I felt a strange soundless buzz between us, it prickled its way up my arms and I dropped my head in my hands again as if trying to will it away.

"**You don't look too good let's get you home, I won't be able to sleep tonight until I know you're safe and sound."** His voice broke against the words as if he hadn't intended to say them out loud and I giggled.

"**What's the matter tough guy, don't you want people to discover your soft side."** I poked him playfully and he smirked. _Dam that smirk! _I thought smiling warmly.

"**What are you smiling about?"** He chuckled and I gasped at how amazing he sounded when he acted so carefree, shaking my head of all unusual thoughts of the man I just met I replied,

**"That smirk."** I said it as confidently as I could manage, but I only received another smirk in response.

******Ikuto's pov.**  


I watched the fragile girl in front of me leant against the outside wall trying to button her coat and without saying a word reached forward to help her. I wasn't acting like myself and it had something to do with the shivering girl in front of me, she was fascinating to me. _Perfect, the one time I find a girl who actually interests me and she's unavailable… Typical._

She stumbled slightly as we walked and then surprisingly latched her arm through mine.

"**I'm so sorry this so embarrassing but I'm so drunk."** She giggled nervously but I wasn't exactly displeased with her closeness, in fact I was quite the opposite.

"**No worries, I was wondering how long it would take you."** I bluffed plastering on my old faithful smirk.

On our way to the car park the previously light drizzle had become a torrential downpour and I could feel her shiver against me, I ran taking her hand in mine to a sheltered doorway and laughed as she huddled close pressing her cold body against mine. That same spark sounded between the two of us and I desperately wondered if she felt it to or if I was just insane.

I glanced down to see her lids growing heavy, she strained to flutter them open again revealing the most unusual and yet beautiful golden honey eyes. I allowed myself to flicker from her eyes to the rest of her and smiled, she was beautiful there was no denying that now.

"**Blue is my new favourite colour."** She slurred half asleep and I smiled.

"**Is that so?"** I questioned confidently but when she tugged my hand bringing me closer and whispered I promise my composure cracked entirely.

She giggled and I reflected on how adorable she was, it seemed impossible but in a matter of days I had become obsessed with everything about this girl, and hated myself for it. She was wonderful yes but she could never really be mine and I was making it harder for both of us.

I felt her slump against me and found her to be half asleep, smiling I took her small frame gratefully into my arms and chuckled as she repeatedly mumbled about the colour blue. Luckily she had already given me an address before we left the apartment; I placed her gently in the passenger seat buckling her in and set off for her place.

I had no choice but to lift her sleeping body out of my car and carry her through her apartment door, she sure was one heavy sleeper though. I finally got her home safe and sound and as I made my way slowly through the threshold I couldn't help but wonder if I was overstepping boundaries and why she lived alone.

After gently laying her on the sofa I tried to coax her from sleep but no matter what I tried she still slept only now she was holding me hostage, wrapped up in her slumbering arms was my hand and I had no choice but to sit there and try not to allow my feelings for her to progress. I reprimanded myself harshly, girls didn't interest me ever! And yet here I was slowly falling in love with a woman I barely know.

My emotions where creating chaos in my head and every time I tried to tell myself that I may have a chance either guilt or common sense would kick me as hard as it possibly could.

My captive slowly shifted in her sleep allowing my escape and for a moment I almost felt sad, it was six am in the morning by now and I had an awful feeling that if she did wake up it would more than freak her out. I wrapped her up with a nearby shawl and wrote her a note to explain how she got home; taking one last look at her beautiful face I departed.

Sitting in my car I swept my navy tresses from my face slowly exhaling, my car still smelt of strawberries, of her! It was torturing me, a constant reminder that I had finally fallen for someone. I questioned myself impatiently, _am I already accepting that I'm falling in love? __Is there really__ no other explanation? _But I knew with a sickening feeling I knew exactly how I felt and was confused further by both feelings of joy and irritation.

I drove home exhausted and irritable not looking forward to the conversation that awaited me when I arrived, and as expected Utau was waiting ready to pounce the moment I opened the door.

"**Where the hell have you been?"** Sounded Utau's shrill welcome

**"Something came up with Amu, don't worry she's home safe."** I mumbled sounding severely sleep deprived.

**"Did y****ou take advantage of her…Because I swear brother or not she's my best friend!" **Utau stood hand on hip glowering at me but I was too furious with her assumptions at first to answer and even though I knew she was just worried about her friend I still couldn't shake my anger.

"**I would NEVER ever do anything to hurt her! She's special Utau! And frankly I thought you knew me better." **As the words left my agitated mouth and I saw Utau's smug smirk I realised my mistake, she had been goading me all along, leading me into a trap.

"**So it's safe to say you have feelings for her then, and strong ones at that… Start at the beginning." **She tapped the spot on the black leather sofa next to her invitingly but I knew it was an offer I couldn't refuse she wouldn't leave me alone now until I talked.

"**It's only been two days; I don't know how I feel for her. At the moment I think the best way to explain it would be to say she fascinates me. I feel as though I can't tear my eyes away from her, she does such odd beautiful things ****that I'm terrified if I look away for one second I'll miss them, like when she closes her eyes and scrunches her nose when she's nervous to even how she smells it's enough to drive me crazy, I think I'm addicted. I sound like a stalker Utau! No sane perso****n would ever understand how I feel right now. I know what you are going to say and I get it. I will stay away from her until after the wedding and then I will leave so that's that… are you happy now?"**

I sigh glaring at the grooves in the wooden floor dejectedly, until surprisingly enough Kukai's interrupts me.

"**Well that settles it then; don't make me regret this Tsukiyomi."** He pointed a finger, grinning at me doing nothing to clear my confusion. Utau squealed excitedly wrapping her arms affectionately around her fiancé  
**  
****"Regret what exactly?"** I suspiciously mumble but Kukai just laughed and left me to Utau

**"He's going to he****lp us get the girl you're in love with!"** She cheered excitedly

**"I'm not in love with her, I barely know her and she already has someone. Utau I appreciate it but this isn't high school no amount of scheming will make this work."** I shake my head at my sister, she cares too much for my happiness its sweet but not fair on Amu the subject of her schemes and I refuse to believe there is any hope at all, it will do nothing but only make the way I feel worse.

**"Okay fine so maybe you think you're not in love yet ****but it sure sounds like love and she obviously does have feelings for you… you haven't seen the way she watches you that girl could not be subtle if she tried…"** I feel a flicker of hope flame in my chest at her words and smother it as quickly as possible.

"**She has a boyfriend Utau, a long term boyfriend." **I shout frustrated and my sister pats my shoulder affectionately in response.

"**A boyfriend who makes her miserable, who hadn't talked to her in three months not a single text before you showed up, a boyfr****iend that controls and dictates how she behaves. Are you telling me that you are fine with that? That she would not be better off with you? I swear Ikuto she deserves to be happy and so do you!" **She smiles comfortingly waiting patiently for her words to soak in.

Her words worry me more than I thought possible though, no wonder Amu had been so sad and Utau was right about her deserving better but that doesn't necessarily mean me. Pushing myself and my selfish feelings aside I decide there and then that what Amu needs is to be shown how she deserves to be treated, perhaps that will be enough to help her move on and even if she wouldn't choose me It would be enough knowing that she's happy.

"**Okay Utau I'll make an effort to help her understand that her relation****ship with her boyfriend isn't normal and that she deserves better, I'll probably manage to do it more subtly that you too but don't get your hopes up about us." **I smirk playfully nudging her and she beams back.

"**We will see."** I hear her mutter as I head to bed confused and overwhelmed by the events of the previous two says. I laugh plummeting between the sheets, _she probably has no idea how much she has flipped my world upside down _I think before drifting off into well-deserved sleep.

******Leeloo-Chan:** This was a super long chapter, 4000 words! I really hope you enjoyed it, this is going to be the story I update most often because it's light and fluffy and for some reason I'm still struggling with writers block on my previous story. I want to thank RandomDalmation326, BlueMonkeyDoll, Renee Tsukiyomi, MoonWolfGirl13 and Nightshadowmidnight for reviewing me, your reviews make me want to keep writing the story so keep them coming :) All my best, Leeloo-Chan.


	3. Caught in the snow

**Title: Forgotten Feelings.  
Chapter three.**

**Disclaimer.**  
Amu and characters of Shugo Chara are © to Peach Pit.

**Bold** = Speech.  
_Italics_ = Thought.  
Authors note at the bottom of the page.

**Amu's Pov.**

I awoke in the morning confused and a little worse than fuzzy, stretching out my stiffness I tumbled off the sofa I had apparently spent the night on. What confused me the most was that I was in my own flat, the last I could remember was dancing like a fool in Utau's living room… how the hell did I get back here? I looked around my apartment and for the first time glanced the paper on the coffee table, with one hand clinging onto the side of my head in fear of my brain slipping out I read over his elegant cursive.

_Amu,  
you're finally awake, I brought you home from Utau's apartment last night.  
I hope you don't mind but I left you to sleep on the sofa as I didn't want to breach your  
privacy more than I already had.  
My only hope is that you can forgive me if I have made you feel uncomfortable.  
Rest well.  
Yours,  
Ikuto._

Blushing profusely I began to slap myself in the head repeatedly only adding to my hangovers torment more, what had I done? Poor Ikuto had to leave his sisters in order to take my drunken-self home; I honestly feared what kind of person he thought I was and here was him apologising to me for breaching my privacy, well that just made me feel more guilty. Over the space of the next hour I read and re-read his letter fascinated not only by his writing style but the words it held.

His penmanship was beautiful, his respect for me was invigorating and his concern only made my face warmer. He was a gentleman, nothing less and right now I owed him an apology and at least a coffee. I stood up determined and winced as my body ached in protest to my sharp movements. Slowly I edged my way to the bathroom to take a well needed shower and formulate my rather long thank you apology.

Refreshed and with a new found spring in my step I began curling my hair at my computer desk, today seemed to be my day in the shower, daydreaming I thought of an amazing idea for a new story and decided to reward both myself and my fans by telling them in advance. I posted my new message and rushed to get ready, cursing myself for getting distracted again.

It was not until I stood directly outside Utau's apartment complex, phone in hand that I truly got nervous. My heart began to flip and my legs were shaking but I pushed on ahead despite the nausea that was beginning to set in, telling myself that there was no point being nervous over how I behaved last night now. My embarrassment would change nothing, I was here to do damage control and apologise like an adult. I speed dialled Utau's number and she answered before I could even take a calming breath. I then made some lame excuse about how I thought I'd left my favourite hair clip there and she laughed.

"**Kay I'll be down in a sec."** Utau's amused tone made me more nervous, everyone can tell when I lie but I thought I would be safe if it was over the phone… apparently not.

I knew I was being foolish, Ikuto was bound to have told them about having to escort their drunken childish friend home late that night and I was a fool to lie to Utau, I should have just told her the truth… I was here to apologise, where is the harm in that? As I dwelled on my own failings I heard the door creak open shyly and came face to face with Ikuto.

A huge smile stretched across my face as I took in the sight of a rather tired dishevelled Ikuto, he looked at me sheepishly and I couldn't help but blush scarlet, he looked … adorable, nervous or not. That same curious glint lit in his eyes as he no doubt made note of my blush and smile. Good morning he breathed before turning to go back inside. Compulsively I shouted out for him to wait, he turned almost wincing and looked at me apologetically which only scared me further, what on earth did I do last night to make the Ikuto Tsukiyomi act this strangely, I decided that whatever wrong I had done had to be rectified now.

"**Ikuto look I'm so sorry for what happened last night you shouldn't have had to take me home, God we barely even know each other but I just want you to know I'm not that girl! You know that irresponsible girl that makes everyone pick up the pieces? Oh I think I'm waffling aren't I? Listen I really appreciate what you did for me last night you took good care of me, respected me and then to top it off wrote me that amazingly thoughtful note! I know that I can be a little strange after a few drinks, and I must have drank a hell of a lot because the last thing I remember is dancing in the living room. So if I said anything impolite I have never been so sorry and I would very much appreciate it if you would let me take you out for a coffee my treat it's the least I can do after how well you looked after me."**

That last part came out a little more rushed the more embarrassed I got but his reaction was one thing I did not count on, reaching out with one arm he lazily pulled me into him and wrapped his strong arms around me I heard his deep voice by my ear and felt his chest rumble.

"**You did nothing wrong, and you don't have to worry. I only treated you how you deserve to be treated; you owe me nothing but that coffee sounds like an excellent idea."** His voice was still thick with sleep and I wasn't sure if I was glowing but I sure did feel like it, my face was a light, and I hated the effect his words had on me but at least he agreed to let me take him out for coffee. I smiled warmly as he released me from the warmth of his chest stating that we better get upstairs or Utau would think we had been kidnapped and laughed, for the first time since I awoke I felt safe and reassured.

As we crossed the threshold into Utau's flat Ikuto disappeared into his sister's bedroom and Kukai sat uncharacteristically silent on a breakfast stool reading the paper. Shortly after Ikuto's disappearance Utau materialised by my side squeezing my cheeks affectionately and leading me to her worn leather sofa.

"**So Amu Chan? We saw your post online, finally got that inspiration eh! Wink wink nudge nudge if you know what I'm saying."** Utau's tone seemed practically giddy as she patted my hand fondly. Kukai's only response was to sigh loudly as he came to sit by my other side

**"Um yeah I guess, it's not set in stone but I got some ideas I only posted that just before I came here though, how did you know so fast?" **I managed to mumble my question through my embarrassment and as if things couldn't get worse Ikuto had just re-entered the room, taking Kukai's seat he sat at the breakfast bar silently reading the paper.

"**Oh come on Amu we have been reading your sexy love stories since we found out about them; you didn't think that we would have you on favourites by now? We are your biggest fans!"** She spoke as if she was proud of betraying my trust and I simply shook my head, blushing furiously I peeked at Ikuto through my fingers but aside from the fact his paper was raised a level higher than it was before he showed no sign of hearing us or any interest for that matter.  
Reassured I let out my next sentence in a low acrid hiss.

"**Now is not the time to discuss my private life! Now keep a lid on it, both of you!"** My tone did nothing to stop them and all I could do was shake my head at the giggling pair  
**"Okay Amu but you have to tell me, who was the inspiration you're not telling me that it's Tadase?"** Kukai's amused tone turned sour at the mention of Tadase's name and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty, they had once been such good friends and now because of me he hated him. I knew that arguing with him or even trying to defend Tadase wouldn't end well and so I told him the truth.

"**I had a daydream okay?" **My sentence was supposed to be rhetorical but Utau and Kukai never did pay much attention to my tone.

"**Must have been on hell of a daydream!"** cried Utau, at this the couple began laughing uncontrollably, and I realised that they were in no frame of mind to discuss anything seriously. Impulsively I glanced over to Ikuto who despite a clear increase in tension hadn't changed and in fairness if I was stuck with those two all day I would probably feel the same.

"**Hey Ikuto, if you're not going to get some rest want to go grab that coffee? It must be hell stuck with tweedle dee and tweedle dum all day."** I wasn't really sure if it was only courtesy that made me ask Ikuto, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a part of me wanted to spend time with him, he interested me. He seemed as surprised by my question as I was at first, but he was more than willing to join me and in no time at all we had set off to the nearest coffee house leaving our cackling friends behind.

When we reached the café he pulled my chair out and ordered for us, I felt that same blush creep up on my face and as he took the seat by my side my body was wracked with a strange electric tingle. Quietly I slid my chair a little further away in an attempt to break the new bizarre feeling and when I looked back at him he was watching me with the strangest of expressions, was it possible he felt it too? I blushed and watched as he thanked the waiter for his services.

What started as a quick thank you coffee, turned into five drinks, two slices of pie and two hours of conversation. We talked about everything from common interests to silly things like favourite TV shows. I had to admit that I was having more fun with him than I had in such a long time. Eventually we both agreed that it was getting late and decided it was time to leave but as we exited the café I felt my eyes light up and before I could reign in my excitement I burst into overdrive.

**Ikuto's Pov.**

Well if I had had any doubt before it was impossible now, I was so transfixed in that moment by how beautiful she was that I hardly even recognised the tiny bits of white that flurried around her fragile form. There she was in all her adorableness, the biggest smile I had ever seen grace her face spinning round and jumping with glee. I couldn't remember a single time I had ever seen anyone look so beautiful, that was until she turned to me, her smile was gone, extinguished and her eyes dimmed as she whispered apologies for her behaviour.

I took one of her hands in mine and did the first thing I could think of, I twirled her slowly in the snow with one arm smiling down on her and then told her to never apologise for being happy. She laughed a high pitched giggling sound that I would never grow tired of and started rambling about how inappropriate it was, and how if Tadase kun was here he would be angry because it was not how ladies should act.

I wanted to hurt him, the man that claimed her heart but she was more important, and she always would be more important. I twirled her in my arms again and again until she giggled uncontrollably;

"**When you are with the people that truly care about you, you can act as inappropriate and wonderful as you want because they won't care." **It was an effort to keep my tone gentle when all I could think of was the pathetic excuse of a human being, her Tadase Kun. But when I looked into those aurous eyes I knew I had done the right thing and it was euphoric to realise that I could make her smile this much.

She smiled warmly leaning the back of her head on my chest, causing my heart to sputter at how casual she had become.

"**Do you want me to walk you home?"** I asked pushing a stray strand of pink behind her ears not quite willing to let go of her just yet.

**"I'll be fine Ikuto; I'm all grown up and can take care of myself."** She beamed mischievously at me batting her long lashes making it suddenly hard to breathe. Still I hated the idea of her having to walk home on her own and pushed her further.

"**I'll just follow you; it would be quicker to let me walk you home."** I smirked winking at her slightly making her blush a beautiful shade of pink and laughed innocently.

Walking away from me a few steps she turned to face me and said,

**"Oh fantastic I have a stalker, just what every girl needs. Hurry up then, or do ****you want me to freeze." **Her tone was sweet and innocent as she stood with her hand outstretched but her words affected me more than she could realise.

I had become so obsessed with her in such a short time, was I really any better than a stalker? I'd like to think so but a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn't let me push it aside. I eagerly placed my hand in hers and watched the blush spread across her face, loving every facial expression and quirk.

"**Don't get any ideas stalker, it's just so I won't slip."** She squealed giggling slightly.

In that moment I wanted to hold her and tell her something as cliché as possible like I'd never let you fall or I'd always catch you but I didn't. Instead I watched her hum to herself as she swung our hands together and gazed off into the snow. We reached her doorstep quicker than anticipated and I was secretly a little relieved, the snow had started falling in sheets and I could barely see three feet in front of myself.

Like an idiot I brought the hand I had been holding to my lips and gave her my thanks for the best day out I had had in such a long time, and as I expected she just blushed and hid her face. I turned to leave but spiralled back as she tugged forcefully on my hand.

"**Where the hell do you think you are going in this?"** she growled as I looked at her uncertainly

**"um…Home?"** I responded more confused than ever, she frowned at me disappointedly and I laughed

**"Not in this you're not, it's too dangerous**.**"** She squealed and her unquestionable concern was doing nothing to steady my heart

**"I'm stronger than I look Amu!"** Her blush darkened and I would have killed to know what she was thinking instead she pouted distracting me further

**"You are coming inside, or I will drag you! When the snow settles you can call your sister, problem solved." **Thinking about it made sense and I honestly didn't think I could ever say no to anything she would want, sighing I ran my fingers through my knotted hair and laughed.

"**As you wish, princess."** I smirked playfully watching her and waiting for her blush to deepen knowing she wouldn't disappoint.

She smiled up at me triumphantly and once again I was rendered speechless. I gave her my thanks and smirked at her back as I followed her upstairs to the apartment. Once there it felt so much different, but I thought that might have more to do with her being conscious this time. I watched her as she went about her daily routine fascinated and even if I tried I couldn't help but allow the curiosity inside of me to grow; I had never seen a woman like her.

Wiping my feet on the mat I hovered in the doorway shyly the last thing I wanted as for her to feel uncomfortable in her home, and so there I stood until I heard the sound of her laughter.

**Amu's Pov.**

I walked as casually as possible back into the living room and giggled when I found him hovering by the door where I had left him, it was wrong of me but just looking at him made me blush. I dragged him over to the sofa and told him to kick his shoes off and relax, he seemed so uncomfortable at first but eventually he settled down and we argued over films and food. Just getting to know a friend I told myself but it never felt like it was just that with Ikuto and though a part of me felt guilty the larger winning part was ecstatic.

We had just finished arguing over things we would want with us on a dessert island and I couldn't help but laugh at how close we had grown in a matter of days, I smiled at him gently and he returned my smile with more warmth than I had ever seen.

"**Amu I don't mean to be rude but is there a window I check the weather through? I don't want to go outside and freeze and I must be distracting you from things you need to do."** He laughed nervously and as I glanced round the living room I saw his problem, books were piled high on windowsills and I shook my head embarrassed.

"**My balcony doors!"** I announced aloud after thinking hard and led him to my room, despite being adults I still blushed at the idea of having a boy in my room and giggled nervously.

"**You sure it's okay for me to be in here? After all I am a stalker you wouldn't want me to get the wrong idea now right?" **His husky voice only made my blush worse and I grimaced at him, he was always such a tease but while he stared out of the windows the idea of him leaving suddenly saddened me.

I really didn't want him to leave, I would never admit it to the smug man leaning on my glass door but I actually loved being around him. I could be myself around him and if I was being honest I hated being here on my own now, it just served as a reminder of my failures. So before I could talk myself out of it I blurted out exactly what I was thinking.

"**You know the snow still looks pretty bad and I mean I know you must be busy or have people or things or I mean someone to get back too and I mean I'm sure Utau must be worried but you haven't eaten since lunch and I'm okay with it if you want to stay a little longer. I mean I get it if you can't, just want to give you options…" **I mentally reprimanded myself, since meeting this man I had blurted out so many feelings it was ridiculous I wouldn't blame him if he thought I was a silly little girl, I sure did act like one around him. _Come on Amu how many times did you use the word mean? Way to demonstrate your grasp on the English language, _I muttered to myself angrily.

"**The snow is nothing to worry about but I have nothing, and no one to return too. As for Utau that's nothing a call wouldn't fix that is if you want me to stay?" **He had turned slowly and gave me the strangest of looks before smiling gently.

What was I supposed to do I couldn't just come out with it and tell him not to leave but I sure as hell didn't want him to go either, I felt terrible and shifted from foot to foot nervously scrunching my nose and twiddling my fingers. His deep laugh made me look up from my embarrassment and I saw him on his call phone.

"**Yo Utau!"** His deep voice slid down the receiver but all I could determine in response where a series of high pitched almost inaudible squeals.

**"Yes Utau I'm still with Amu, and no nothing like that has happened you pervert."** He threw a smirk in my direction and winked causing my blush to increase tenfold as more squeals were heard.

"**I'm going to stay longer, the snow is really erratic and I'm having fun with Amu, hope you don't mind?"** Though his tone seemed confident he still asked her anyway and I felt my face light up unintentionally as he grinned at me, I excused myself to let him make the last of his phone call in private. However when I was pottering around my living room waiting for him to return, my cell began to vibrate; confused I picked it up seeing that the caller ID was Kukai.

"**Hey Hinamori! What's going on with you?"** His overly cheerful tones made me smile as I replied simply

**"Not much, I'm just back home with Ikuto…it snowed."**

**"Yeah I saw, everything okay with him? You guys get on and all?"** He sounded concerned and I giggled a little at the idea of myself and Ikuto not getting on

**"Um yeah, he's really great! We have loads in common and he's really nice…"** I let my sentence drift off hoping that Kukai wouldn't press me too much, but I was wrong.

**"You're holding out on me Hinamori what you really thinking?"** I hated how he couldn't just leave things alone and laughed nervously.

**"I sort of don't want him to leave; it's so nice having someone home to talk to. I'm a little tired of being on my own you know?"** I tried hard to hide the break in my voice and luckily managed; if it had been Nagi I would have never stood a chance.

"**I'm kind of glad you said that because myself and Utau sort of need a favour."** I heard him shuffle and knew that his arm would be placed awkwardly on the top of his head while he thought of a way to ask me his question.

"**What do you need Kukai?"** My tone was pleasantly patient in an attempt to ease his nerves and he laughed in response.

"**It would seem Rima and Nagi are staying until the wedding so I was wondering if Ikuto could stay with you? He offered to go to a hotel but we just feel so bad you know?" **

Kukai still sounded anxious and I knew he would need an answer soon but I at least needed to think about something this important first didn't I? Sighing I raked my fingers through my tied up hair and set about calming myself down.

Secretly I loved the idea of him staying, it solved so many problems and I was so fed up of being on my own but what would Tadase think? _That is if he picks up his phone long enough for me to tell him, _I thought bitterly and then laughed a little to myself at how the conversation would go.

Oh hey Tadase that tall navy haired attractive brother of Utau's is going to be sleeping under the same roof as me for a few weeks, hope you don't mind. Yeah right, my inside voice laughed harder when suddenly a realisation hit me.

I didn't care, not about what Tadase thought or said.

"**Looks like I've got myself a house guest." **I replied to Kukai's frantic apologies and he laughed in return.

"**I can always count on you Amu, I'm sorry for burdening you."** I giggled reassuring him once again before hanging up; Ikuto was less of a burden and more of a favour in my eyes.

My bedroom door burst open and I laughed as a frustrated Ikuto stood in front of me a flood of apologies and pleading eyes. My body reacted first without consent as I knelt down and hugged him gently.

"**I suggested it you silly cat."** For the first time in such a long time I didn't feel lonely.

After an hour of reassuring Ikuto he finally settled, we leant on each other watching one of our many favourite films lost in a sea of empty take away boxes and eventually drifted to sleep. That night my dreams were filled with his face and his face alone, I very briefly allowed myself to wonder what it would be like to have him around me permanently, though it was nothing but a harmless fantasy I got lost in the warmth of the idea and my imagination took care of the rest.

**Leeloo-Chan:** This one has been a little bit of a late upload and I'm really sorry for that I've just been so busy lately :) I hope you are all well and enjoy this chapter, it's so good to see some friendly faces from my other story and I really do love all of your reviews :) Thank you so much for reading and review me please if you want more ^^


	4. I'm back

Title: Forgotten Feelings.

So I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, the last I updated was 05.10.12… that's eight months ago and I'm officially an awful person.  
The truth is that a lot happened in my life and along with many other things I lost confidence in my writing and my general ability to form words. :)

However I'm back? Currently proof reading my next chapter of Forgotten Feelings, figured it would be better to focus on one story rather than separates. I realistically wanted to go back and re-do the whole story because it's awful but I'm too lazy. (If there is anything you would specifically like to see happen in this story… some stereotype or cliché I'd be more than happy to hear about it.)

So this is basically just a note to say that I'm back and I'm starting a new with this story, maybe changing things round a little and definitely trying harder. So for those of you that have followed me in the past I hope you see this and know how sorry I am, it is also a warning that with the new start comes a new Pen-name.

All my stories are staying, I'll just be writing under a different name.  
Hope you are all well and enjoy the next installation, and a huge thanks to Midnight-Angel1022 for being a lovely person :)


End file.
